Hey, adults of the world
How about instead of making kids terrified to ever fuck up
You teach them how to cope with the aftermath of fucking up and fix it as best they can
That way they’re not so overwhelmed with anxiety every time there’s even so much as a chance of making mistakes that they never try anything and dread making decisions because of it
That’s how we tried to do it (the less anxiety style) . We always tried to make the consequences fit the deed. There must be consequences for wrong doing, that is how a child learns, it need not be extreme. Cause and effect, it’s quite simple.
Spilled milk? Here’s the rag, clean it up.
Dumped the cereal, sugar, macaroni, etc. on the floor? Here’s the broom, sweep it up.
Failed the test? Let’s try again on the missed questions…well that is a benefit of homeschooling…
Broke a house rule? Age appropriate loss of privilege or item.
Lied about breaking a rule? Greater loss of privilege or longer duration.
We always tried to explain why she was being punished and made sure she understood. Often we had to make her see it was a safety issue or a simple disrespect issue (which, when left unchecked, can lead to greater and greater misdeeds). Our ultimate goal was to raise a morally straight, productive citizen that had a heart for service and grew to follow her heart and gifts. So far, I think we did pretty good. a-raven-and-a-desk